I sensed God’s call to ministry and in the Spring of 2005 I started seminary, which after four years, I graduated. After graduation, it only took me a couple of months to secure my first church. Which ended up being a small rural country church down in the heart of Texas. They may have been small in number, but they were some of the sweetest and kindest people you could find. I was there for nearly two years, fighting with the raccoons and other wildlife. It was at this time my brother developed terminal lung cancer, so I decided to resign and move back to Oklahoma to be closer to family.

Back in Oklahoma, I became a interim pastor for a small church that I was attending while helping my brother. My brother soon lost his battle to cancer and the interim pastor job did not lead into anything permanent. Little did I know at the time, but this was just the beginning of my troubles. I started sending out resumes, over the next three years I probably over two hundred to various church positions. I was determined not to handcuff God, I was willing to go anywhere, no matter how small or remote the church. Most all of these resumes went to smaller churches because I was inexperienced and still single.

Over the next three and a half years I would get many opportunities to preach at many of these churches. After my sermon they would thank me for coming and tell me they enjoyed my preaching. Then , the meetings would often take a negative and sometimes even inappropriate turns. For starters they would tell sometimes tell me that they COULD NOT hire me because I was single. once a church asked if I viewed inappropriate websites . since I felt like this was a question targeted towards me being single. I asked if they asked all their candidates this same question, they refused to answer. So, I refused to answer their question. This type of encounter happened several times which confused me, because my resume clearly stated that I was single. Why would several churches invite a single preacher to preach for them? Maybe they needed someone to fill their pulpit that week. Of Course I received some letters stating I could not be hired because I was single too.

I went so far as to apply for a missions organizations that was half pastor, half missions. This Missions Organization told me the same thing, after stringing me along at first. I was not qualified to serve with them because I was still single. Although, at first they told me my singleness would not be a problem. As you can imagine by this time my mental state and my psyche was shattered. You can only get knocked down and get back up so many times. Eventually, you get knocked down and you will stay down. To make a long story short for the next ten plus years I worked retail. I quit going to church in 2019. Because lets face it church DOES NOT know how to minister to older singles. Most of the time they DON’T even attempt to try. Church worships Marriage.

The purpose of this blog is to bring awareness to the notion that churches are doing a terrible job at caring for singles. My goal is not to throw The Church “under the bus” rather to call The Church to wake up. Because if She doesn’t the consequences will be devastating. Does one really think that if the Church keeps on ignoring older singles, then one day She suddenly notices them, will come back? Human nature says NO. The Church has to do better before its too late. It is high time The Church got its head out of the sand and stopped making excuses (we don’t having any singles). She needs to start meeting people where they are.