Family Structure is the Key for Passing on the Faith to Children. I Am NOT Anti-Marriage or Anti-Family. I am just against elevating marriage and family in the church to the point where Singles get totally squeezed out. There must be some sort of balance between the two where they are both honored and no group feels “left out.”
Americans are tired of the RomCom-ification culture, think being single isn’t something to fix – it’s its own happy ending
68% of Americans are tired of ads showing a false idealistic image that being in a relationship is the only way to live a happy life ()
68% of Americans believe that in our society, that the stigma of being single is gradually diminishing. ()
78% of Americans believe You don’t need to get married to have a happy and fulfilling life. ()
According to the US Census Bureau; 46.4% of the adult population ages 18 and over are single. This includes divorced, widowed, and never married.
The Stats for 40 year-olds are quite telling and higher than you might realize.
-26% Adults aged 35-44 have never married (Women 22%, Men 29%)
About half of singles state that they have either given up on dating or aren’t looking to date at the moment.
I wish married couples would realize dating in 2024 (and beyond) is much harder than they realize. Just because you put constantly put yourself out there and socialize with the opposite sex doesn’t mean romantic relationships will develop.
93% of Churches DO NOT even have a place for singles to go to, let that sink in. Imagine if 93% of churches didn’t have youth programs, imagine the outrage, imagine the vast attendance decline. However, since its just singles NO ONE cares.
How many of you even knew that there was a Nation Single Adult Week? Yep, not making that up! it’s the third full week in September.
What?
Never say to a single person; “Know what the Bible says, singleness is a blessing” Why? Because first of all the Bible NEVER says that. It says to those who have the gift of singleness it is a blessing, many people misquote that. Second, it WILL NOT help anyone struggling with their singleness, that it is a “blessing”, because at that moment they don’t see it that way. So, instead try to SHOW them how their singleness is a blessing.
Do you Talk to People?
A major misconception married people have about singles is that we are terrified to speak to the opposite sex. While that may be true about a few, most singles can speak and ask out the opposite sex just fine. Dating has changed and gotten much more difficult over the past several years. It has gotten to the point even getting ONE date is a challenge for many singles. There is also a growing population of singles satisfied with being single.
So, Where are We?
Singles are people to, that deserve to be treated with the same love and respect that married people get treated. However, in most churches it DOES NOT happen this way we are shuffled to the “back of the bus” and told to be quiet while THEY worship. All we ask for is fellowship and friendships and we get NOTHING! Churches are then surprised when we leave and don’t show up, are they really that stupid and naive? It is time Churches get their heads out of the ground before it is too late. Do you really think most singles will come back in droves when The Church finally wakes up and starts catering to singles more? NO!
Be Intentional about welcoming and making single adults feel welcome in your churches.
Singles are isolated in so many ways; pastors are willing to preach a sermon series on the sanctity of marriage or family values. However, when it comes to issues that singles face there is often complete silence from the pulpit. Why?
Pastors and church leaders often marry young and do not even think about single adults. When they do, they are often clueless as how to reach them.
Our Lord and Savior was Single?
Hard to believe, but our risen Savior the one and Only Jesus Christ WAS single.
Worship Marriage?
Why does modern church culture worship marriage. Think about it, the entire church service is built around marriage. Yes, The Church is the Bride of Christ and that is the image that God was trying to get across when He ordained marriage with Adam and Eve. However, since then The Church has totally and completely corrupted marriage and the church service.
Singleness is Not Always a Choice
There are many different reasons older singles are still single, many married people either refuse to understand or simply do not understand why sane person in their thirties would still be single. There must be something seriously wrong with them right? WRONG Extended and unwanted singleness can and does happen for a number of reasons, not everyone gets married by the age of 24.
Don’t Try To “Solve” Our Singleness
One of the biggest mistakes churches make in trying to “help” older singles is trying to “”solve” their singleness. How? Easy, by “helping” them get married. “Hey John, you know Jane isn’t dating anyone at the moment, I think she would be good for you, besides she told me she’s been pretty lonely lately. So, she will probably say yes if you ask her.” Did you catch that John’s friend told him, that he said that he thought Jane would be good for him, but he did not know for sure.
No, Not Paul Too!
I’m Afraid to tell you, but yes the Apostle Paul was indeed single too. Many verses state this. He would probably not be allowed to serve in many modern churches, not because of what he teaches, rather because he has NO wife.
Churches Are Family Obsessed!
Churches are obsessed with families, teenagers, and kids to the point where single people feel completely left out and ignored. So many times they decide to drop out of church altogether. Because they do not feel valued, loved, or even wanted they stop coming. Others can always tell them otherwise, however if they don’t ever back those words up with their actions; you’ve heard the old saying, “Actions speak louder than Words!”
How Long?
For Decades, The Church has exalted Marriage far and above singleness, even if this was never their intent it is reality. Neither group should ever be lifted above the other, but both are ways to bear God’s image and Glorify Him. However, either one can be distorted by sin.
Blind Church
The Church seems totally blind and /or unwilling of the compete culture shift happening in this country happening in this country over the past several years. With the rise of Gen Z, things are quickly changing people are just not getting married MUCH latter but many of them aren’t even interested in dating.
How Churches Should Treat Singles
- Listen — This is a hard one for me and always, always causes me frustration. it is that many, many married people simply do not LISTEN to single peoples cries of help. sorry if that offends, it is the truth.
- Create Space — Churches are fine with marriage ministries and marriage sermons, marriage weekends, Youth camps, etc. What about something for singles? You might be able to find something for college kids at some churches but that isn’t what we are interested in here. The vast (90% i say) have nothing for older singles and would NEVER preach a sermon on singleness.
- Give — Most (married) people don’t realize just how stacked the cards are against singles in the area of finances. Most married people have TWO incomes, while the single person has to make it on just one. So, Do not be afraid to give to your single friends, it does not have to be an actual donation. It can be something as simple as inviting them over for a meal. (Not only does the single person then get a free meal they also get some quality fellowship)
- Value — Paul places value on being single, so should The Church! We have time, talent, resources, let us use it! Do not fear us! Try to understand us, instead of running to the corner like a little school girl.
i